Supreme Pizza

Many moons ago Darkness, Rippy and I sat around and talked about two of our favorite things; the Supreme Court and Pizza.

The movie opens as the camera makes a slow pan across the bedroom passing some tennis shoes, pants, high heels, a pizza store hat and pizza delivery bag. The camera then makes its way up to the bed and over a couple of pairs of feet. One man's and two women's. The man starts to wake-up as the camera slowly moves towards his head. When the camera finally reaches the man's face his eyes light up and he sits-up straight in the bed. He screams when puts his hand to his head and realizes that he is wearing a white judicial wig.

Cut to:

A shot of the Washington Monument with the sound of a guitar wailing on one note loud and hard. When the guitar reaches its pinnacle there is the sound of glass exploding and then "Supreme Pizza" is spray-painted in hot pink on the Washington Monument. Thus begins our pizza boy's historical adventure....

Our pizza boy, Doug, reaches his hand into his pocket and pulls out a napkin which reads,

"Dear President Robinson, I, Supreme Court Justice Hasgard Norman, hear-by handover my appointment to Doug the Pizza Guy. Thanks in Advance, Hasgard."

Upon reading the napkin the memories coming flooding back to Doug. The pizza that he delivered that faithful night was to Supreme Court Justice Hasgard Norman. Justice Norman was in the midst of having one of the most righteous parties that the nation's capital has ever seen. Girls, goats, blow, pizza, pills, panties, everything that makes a party excellent was there in abundance and Justice Norman was having the time of his life, so much so that he didn't ever want it to end. When our pizza hero arrived at Justice Norman's door he was, of course, invited to join in on the festivities. Over the course of the night Justice Norman finds his true love, the beautifully exotic, Lizza. They announce they are moving to Jamaica and it is agreed upon that Justice Norman will hand over his Supreme Court Appointment to Doug. Justice Norman shows Doug the secret handshake and then they toast their slices of pizza to seal the deal. Justice Norman and his lady take off.

Having put the night back together, Doug throws the wig away and leaves Justice Norman's place knowing he has probably just attended the best party he will ever go to in his life. He does not realize, however, that there one was important person at the party who he did not get to meet. It was Johnny Greson, the mega-owner of Ultimate Shoppe USA, who dipped out early. Greson has been working on greasing up everyone in Washington for years. His stores have made him one the richest men in the world and the ability to buy any powers that money hasn't already allotted to him. All of this money and power has changed him. He has grown use to having his way, so much so that when he can't get it he physically gets sick and sick men aren't rich when they're sick. Greson knows that everybody has their price and it doesn't take long in Washington to make a "soul sell". The Senate has been in his pocket since he opened his very first store and by now know that every law they pass in his favor will earn them big rewards (like when they passed the law allowing Greson to build stores on ancient Indian burial grounds and Greson paid the Brazilian Women's Soccer team to blow all the Senators that voted for him on his private yacht while the New York Philharmonic played the music from "CATS"). The President's cabinet, the local governments and now most of the Supreme Court Justices are on Greson's payroll. Everyone except the President.

President Miles Robinson is a good honest man. The first president in a long time that everyone in America was proud to call their own. President Robinson, however, is Johnny Greson's number one enemy. Ever since Greson tore down President Robinson's parent's house, Robinson has been a strong fighter against big business. Sadly, he is alone in this fight and everytime he makes a stand against the Senate on the issue he loses ground on every other important cause. President Robinson is no idiot though. He knows what is happening, so when Doug shows up with the napkin contract from Justice Norman President Robinson decides to go along with it. The Prez briefs Doug on what is happening and offers him a job as the Chief Presidential Spy. Doug, still nursing a murderous hangover, tells the President that all this is too much for him too handle. He tells the President "thanks, but no thanks," he's happy being a pizza delivery guy and thought of writing long decisions for the court "doesn't sound too cool."

Ready to chill out after a long day Doug heads over to his girlfriend's house to score some weed, but when he shows up his girlfriend is being hauled off to jail. Busted by the local government. Doug doesn't have the money for her bail, so he goes to the pizza joint where he works, Supreme Pizza, to get fronted his next paycheck. When he arrives at Supreme Pizza his boss, Lani, a powerful minded woman in love with small kitchen operations, is getting drunk. Lani informs Doug that the store has been bought by the government to make room for a new Ultimate Shoppe USA, the store will be closing down soon. This news hits too close to home for Doug. He immediately goes back to the white house in his spy attire, delivery uniform, and tells the Secret Service he has a "Supreme Pizza with extra sauce for the President."

Supreme Court Justice by day, Pizza Boy Spy by night, Doug is getting deeper and deeper into the wheelings and dealings of Greson, The Senate and how many of the Justices have been bought off. Doug de-briefs the President everynight by slipping his notes under a pizza. Gaining evidence is easy because the pizza not the delivery boy gets the attention everytime he enters a room. After only a week on the job Doug finds out what Greson's big plan truly is...tearing down the White House to build an Ultimate Shoppe USA. At first President Robinson doesn't believe there is any way that this could happen, but Doug assures him that Greson is rewarding everyone involved for their help in burying the clause deep inside another bill. The Prez has to see first hand, so he disguises himself as a pizza boy too and joins Doug for an after hours party that is being held at the National Archives. Doug and the Prez deliver a truck load of Za and witness Greson, the Vice President, The prez's cabinet, the Senate and some of the Justices partying and talking about how rich they are going to be once an Ultimate Shoppe USA is built in Washington. President Robinson is crushed, he pulls his hat down over his eyes and leaves.

Doug returns to work and there is an order waiting for him, a supreme pizza with extra sauce that is to be delivered to the Washington Monument. Prez Robinson is waiting for him and tells Doug he's got a plan. Doug needs to get Lani at Supreme Pizza to reject the buy-out and take Greson to court. The Prez believes that with Doug's help as Justice, the Supreme Court will be their only chance to save the White House. Doug de-briefs Lani. She agrees and begins fighting the buy-out. Of course as soon as the court battles begin, Greson starts playing dirty. He hires some goons to break into Supreme Pizza and break everything. Then, when Doug goes to try and bail out his girlfriend her bail has mysteriously been doubled. Lani, however, isn't ready to give up yet. They begin having street pizza parties and soon the parties are the talk of the town. Meanwhile, Doug and the Prez are racing against Greson to keep the Justices pure. The Justices are all good people at heart, and the ones that did accept Greson's favors did so out of boredom. Most of them are lonely and just want to be included in all the parties, except for the one horny lady Justice that wants to bang Doug. So, Doug begins hanging out with some of the Justices. They play racquetball, do nude paintings of each other, watch Jeopardy together and garden. They teach him about the law and the court and he gives them tips in hanging.

Supreme Pizza's new street operation has been booming. They have made enough money to bail Doug's Girlfriend out of jail and are close to re-opening the store. Things have also begun to heat up romantically between the Prez and Lani. The case of Supreme Pizza vs. Ultimate Shoppe USA finally makes it to the Supreme Court. The only problem is Greson is able to bribe one last Justice before the case (he slept with the Horny Justice that Doug wouldn't sleep with). Now, instead of having the majority, they are split and it will be up to Doug to write the decision. Doug writes a couple of drafts about how hurtful Ultimate Shoppe USA is to America, but tears up his first two drafts. After a couple of hours he comes out ready to deliver his decision. He has been pondering over the stories of George Washington that he has been reading at the Washington Monument waiting for the President everynight. He describes to the courtroom how the work of one man has become the legacy of this country. Doug talks of those who have been hurt by too powerful a government, corporations and the negativeness of Eminent Domain. He mentions the stories of the President's Parents and Supreme Pizza and soon there is not a dry eye in the house. Doug has just delivered the most righteous decision in Supreme Court history.

Afterwards, there is an afterparty at Supreme Pizza and President Robinson declares Supreme Pizza a national historical site. The plaque is unveiled and President Robinson gives Lani a kiss. Then, to everyone's surprise a Fed-Ex guy arrives with a huge package from Jamaica. It is from Justice Norman, he heard about the case in Jamaica and sent a case of Mangos as a gift. Lani throws some on a pizza and invents Mango Chicken Pizza, which is destined to take the country by storm and make Supreme Pizza the biggest pizza chain in the world.