This dude is a log roller.
A 258 lb. mountain of muscle that fucking thrashes his way through the competition when demolishing the log rolling field at ESPN's seasonal "Outdoor Games". His coach is pissed at him though because, similar to the strong man contest, these Outdoor Games require you being adept at several aspects of wood lambasting to be king lord. However, after summers spent in eastern Oregon moving logs for the paper manufacturing plant, Splinter In My Hind Paper Co., this dude really only learned how to master three things:
1) Fuckin' hot chicks in the woods on his break
2) Ripping the top off a beer can &
3) Log Rolling
So he had some work to do, obviously.
Here is where the story flips.
The audience thinks this is a movie following this dude's plight through the damaging world of tournament play, but actually they are wrong. This is a storkumentary. It's a story documentary about storks. See, this dude fucking loves storks. He has whittled about thousands of little stork figurines that he decorates his house with, has posters, the whole nine. After coming in first in the log rolling comp, this dude lost every other event of the comp. His shit was through. So while wondering in the woods trying to avoid the others, crying, contemplating his missed axe throw that severed a child's arm - he met a magical stork.
