We Three Kings

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The seasons have successfully changed, so let's just get a fresh start. Why not?

In the meantime, here's a TV show idea...


Three Elvises from three different periods of time living in the same house. An earthquake unlocks a time portal under Graceland, uniting the home's owner from three different stages of his life. "Baby" is teenage Elvis. He's the hot, rebellious type and doesn't want to grow up to be like his older self. He’s a teen, but as innocent as a butterfly. Middle Elvis, "Elvis", is the Elvis from the '70s. He's the stubborn ruler of the house. He performs occasionally and runs a mishap-laden Memphis Mafia. "Gramps" is Elvis from 2020. In 2020, He is the world’s greatest suppler of cheap pharmaceutical drugs. He invents all the drugs in his Graceland labs and sells them to the public at very cheap prices. He lives in hiding, never goes out without one of his trustworthy disguises, has a large supply of futuristic gadgets and is always trying to prove to the other Elvises that people are out to get them. These people are actually a group of scientists from the future that are trying to gain access to the time portal and stop Gramps from reaching the year 2020 and being the awesome dude that he is.

Episode 1: “Peace Pills”

The leaves are beginning to turn a beautiful shade of brown outside and Baby seems to have caught a case of Autumn Love! The big Fall Dance is coming up at school and Baby has his heart set on one girl, Sally Feathers. There’s a problem though, Sally doesn’t seem to be interested in him. Baby decides to go to his dad, Elvis, for advice, but sadly this only brings more stress for Baby. Elvis has never had to work at picking girls up, so his advice of “give her some love pills”, doesn’t help Baby that much.

Baby is determined, however, that Sally Feathers will be his date to the Fall Dance. The next day at school Baby decides to play a song he wrote for Sally during lunch. He walks into the cafeteria with his guitar, but his nerves get the best of him and he freezes. Everyone starts staring and pointing at Baby with his guitar and Baby is too scared to move. Finally, he makes a dash to the hallway where he is busted for not having a hall pass. Baby is sent to the principal’s office where he is suspended from all school activities for a week, that means no Fall Dance. He goes home crushed.

Problems are a brewin’ at home too. Recently, Elvis and some of his boys started-up their own homemade ice cream parlor in Graceland’s garage and it has quickly become the loves of their lives. They serve the best ice cream that anyone in the town has ever had and they take great pride in their ice cream. A letter from the health inspector just arrived though and it says the health inspector is coming to investigate the parlor! If the store isn’t up to health standards then they get shut down! Elvis and the boys like the comfortable feel, so naturally the parlor looks more like a band practice space then your usual ice cream parlor.

Baby arrives home and decides to talk to his dad about his troubles. Elvis, however, is too busy cleaning to talk to him, so Baby decides to talk to Gramps.

Gramps is in the lab as usual, trying to figure out a way to close up the time portal under the house, so they can live in peace without the Mad Scientists from the future chasing them. Baby tells Gramps about his love and school dilemma and Gramps tells Baby to forget about the school dance and then starts rummaging through the lab and pulls out a box of pills. The box is labeled “Gramp’s Famous Love Pills”. Baby asks about how Gramps made them and he explains how he and his girlfriend discovered the elusive erotic leaf one night while they were out at the swimming hole.

Baby takes the pills to school the next day and decides to drop one in Sally’s drink during lunch. His nerves get the best of him again and he freezes up right before he is about to dose her. Baby heads home dejected and throws the love pills into the trash.

Elvis and the boys are still busily trying to get the parlor into tip-top shape for the health inspectors. They are sweeping, scrubbing and throwing away everything in sight. Beer bottles, shot glasses, weed. One of them, however, throws away the stash of chronic and it is decided that they should hang on to that. Elvis pulls it out of trash and hides it in one of the ice cream containers. What Elvis doesn’t notice though is that he also pulls out the Love Pills and hides those in the container as well.

Rumors start spreading around town that the Health Inspectors are going to close down the great Ice Cream Parlor. People begin flocking there to stop them. Everyone is eating ice cream and of course it is all being served from the container with the Love Pills in it. The love pills, however, have a different effect on people in the present than they do on people in the year 2020. Instead of making people want to make love like they do in the future, it merely makes everyone extremely peaceful. The Parlor is now filled with people having a sit-in, singing, sharing milkshakes, hugging, pretty much just having a righteous peaceful time.

Baby is upstairs in his room when he hears all the singing and decides to go downstairs to investigate. He walks into the garage and sees a bunch of kids from school sharing milkshakes, holding hands and acting like couples. He thinks about Sally and his heart breaks an inch more. He goes back to his room and puts on a Depeche Mode record.

The Ice Cream Parlor is now overflowing with positive vibes, so when the Health Inspectors show up the Parlor erupts into a huge Harsh Zone. The Health Inspectors are not working like normal health inspectors. They are kicking over people and milkshakes, yelling about how filthy everything is, one of them is constantly puking. Elvis, who ate some of the peace cream, starts to get very scared. He apologizes to the inspectors, but they just yell louder and say that they are going to close down the entire house! Gramps hears the commotion coming from the Parlor and goes to see what happens. He walks in and sees Elvis and the rest of the town in tears begging the Health Inspectors not to close down the Parlor while the inspectors are carrying out barrels of Ice Cream into the sun so they can melt.

Gramps notices something weird about the inspectors. They’re not the Health Inspectors; they’re the Mad Scientists from the future out to stop the Kings. Gramps calls the cops and reports the imposters.

During all this commotion Sally Feathers shows up at the Parlor, but it is too crowded to get inside. Instead, she goes inside the house and hears Depeche Mode coming from upstairs. She opens the bedroom door and finds Baby in there. “Hey, it’s kinda crazy down there. Do you mind if I chill here with you?”

“Yeah, come in”

The Health Inspectors are in process of collecting Elvis’s house keys when the cops arrive and arrest them. The cops are putting the Mad Scientists in the back of the cop car when Gramps comes out of the house and shakes his fists at them while yelling, “See you in 2020!” The Scientists give a wink and an evil grin and then disappear from the back seat of the cop car.

The peace pills begin to wear off of Elvis and he realizes that he has been too busy with the Ice Cream Parlor to talk to Baby. He goes upstairs to Baby’s room and hears Depeche Mode playing inside. He figures Baby must be upset, so he opens the door to go talk with him, but inside he finds Baby and Sally in the midst of a killer make-out sesh. Depeche Mode is cranking at full blast, so they don’t even notice. They just continue to make-out.