unrealized scripts

Monday, December 31, 2007

2007 Year End List of Unrealized Scripts

It's been a quiet year, so here's the year-end list of the top (only) movies we didn't realize.

Cenote Summer - An action movie about snorkeling in Mexico. Besides being filled with heart-pounding snorkeling scenes, this movie will also have a killer underwater makeout session and an ancient magical snorkel. I wrote about half of it but the action was becoming too real, so I think we'll change it to an action movie about two friends snorkeling in each other's pools in Mexico. The underwater makeout scene and magical snorkel will still stay.

Bogus, California
- A guy gets transferred to the small California town of Bogus but quickly realizes something in the town is amiss when he can't get a wi-fi connection anywhere. He does some investigating and finds out Bogus, California is a slow small town that the Internet forgot. In order to fight boredom he introduces a new version of fantasy football to the town. The dude makes up all the rules as the game goes along so players win or lose mostly for unfootball related reasons. As the season moves along the pressure of the game wears on the town. The weekly penalties of personal slavery, renaming of bars & trading of personal items hurls the entire town into balls out anarchy. An anarchy that only one man and his fantasy football rules can stop. I guess this would be considered a Fantasy Football Drama. **Also, at one point someone dies from a laser attack.

Please Die Fatboy O'Brien - I don't know what this one is about, just a poster in a dream I had one night that I happened to remember.

Dead Heat - a sex morsel of an idea that Rippy had about zombie sex and underhanded political scandals.

SPCD: Smashing Pumpkins Cover Dude
- Movie about DJ starting-up his dream project - SPCD (Smashing Pumpkins Cover Dude) which is him with an electric guitar and a mini-amp strapped to his belt playing Smashing Pumpkins songs. The movie will follow his rise to the top and eventual dream of all dreams where he is going to open up for the Smashing Pumpkins, but he meets Billy Corgan before the show and Billy is a douche. Instead of quitting right there DJ performs the best Smashing Pumpkins show of ALL-TIME and then retires on stage. F'ing Awesome!

Damned If You Do
- This is Jeff Griggs' dream baby about a group of guys who have a fund-raising contest to see who can go the longest without shitting. Jeff actually has most of this one written out and sent it over to me to help out, but I dropped the ball. Hopefully I'll get back on it soon or Jeff can post his treatment whenever he decides to sign-up for the Internet.

The Sudan Boys Get Lost - African kids move to the US, start a band, do drugs, get laid, get hyped, sellout to save their country, become Presidents of Sudan. It feels good.

Water Thingy
- Is there a monster in the town lake or is everyone just slowly going crazy from paranoia? Did the town drunk die from an accidental drowning or was he a victim of the thing in the lake? Is the town slut really a slut or is there a monster in the lake? This is going to be a psychological thriller!


  • At 11:52 AM, Blogger cocaine bref said…

    Thats it, SPCD is real - as of now. This dream will be fucking realized - for sure, Billy cries.

    Also what about this unrealized trailer:

    "ZZ Topsiders & Topsliders"-

    The boys from ZZ move to Nantucket to open a shoe company / mini-burger joint. They serve the mini-burgers inside the shoes - so for a combo they get about 4 mini-burgers in an average size 8 shoe. You want a bigger shoe? You get more mini-burgers. Hottest things since slap bracelets and quickly "Good Morning America" and the "Today Show" are batteling it out for the exclusive interview/facility tour. Gibbons says the only way they will give the interview is if Katie Couric comes back and does the "titty shuffle" with only a pearl necklace on - across the bar and slams an "Anchor Ball" - one of their signature mini-burgers made of the burger patty, black cream cheese, a meatball, mayo, a lobster claw, and a splash of crab dookie bits.

  • At 12:06 PM, Anonymous scarnsworth said…

    these are all fucking amazing. i especially like 'water thingy'. and 'damned if you do' based solely on the portent of the title alone. i was gonna say we could unrealize "guess who's coming on dinner - squirters iv" but then i found out they already made that one.

  • At 12:54 PM, Blogger cocaine bref said…

    Whilst in grand ol' high school, i went to a party at this dude name Shane's house. It was called Testasta party. Supposed to be dudes only, and we were going to eat steak, and do man shit. Dark was there too, all because Shane's dad was out of town.

    Shane went on to get fucking wasted and run up to hid dad's room to pull a tape out of his "secret porn stash". Oh yeah by this time there were ladies over. He comes running down the stairs with this tape and inserts it into the VCR slot. Lo' and Behold it was none other than the cinematic classic "The Great American Squirt Off!"

    We could write this into squirters iv.

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