Abe, Can You Hear Me Now? [episode one]
I know this probably seems a little obvious, but that's only because it's based on a true story.
Ezra's about the happiest-go-luckiest dude on the Earth. Whistling World Champion, Heel Click Olympian, and Freestyle Walking King are only a few of his accomplishments based on his exuberant demeanor. He can't help himself; he's just got the spirit. However like a lot of people, with the highs also come the lows. Ezra can really get down in the dumps at the drop of a hat.
The most consistent source of affliction to Ezra is his coworker Adam. Adam is one of those people that can't stand it when people whistle. They spend a lot of time together at Digiorno's Pizza, where they are co-managers. Adam the cynic hates Ezra and his boundless positivity, and a 40 hour a week job alongside the Whistling World Champion really brings out the nastiest parts of him. He screams and screams at Ezra to stop whistling, to stop being so damn happy and hits him upside the head until his mood plummets into the depths of dour depression. That version of Ezra bums Adam out too, but at least Ezra doesn't talk or make any sounds or movements when he's depressed.
Adam's the first name in Ezra's cell phone. They need to keep in touch with each other while out on deliveries. Since Adam's name is the first entry into Ezra's phone, when Ezra gets excited and does some energetic movements it results in a lot of unintended calls to Adam. Ezra will be in the middle of a long combo of freestyle walking moves when the joy is interrupted by Adam's voice shreiking out of his pocket.
"QUIT THAT FUCKING FAIRY DANCING YOU FUCKING IDIOT! HELLO? DO YOU HEAR ME? QUIT THAT FUCKING DANCING! FUCK YOU, YOU DIPSHIT FUCK!"
What a mellow harsh.
Ezra decides he needs to rectify this situation. If he's gonna dance, the phone is gonna call somebody. He needs a contact the comes alphabetically before Adam, and preferably a fictitious one. No one wants to repeatly call someone on accident. Ezra thinks for a little while and eventually types in Abraham Lincoln. 555-5555. Satisfied, Ezra goes out for walk, whistling at the top of his breath. The positive energy soon gives way to some choice heel clicks, which in turn morph into full blown freestyle walking. Ezra works up one of the best combos he's ever done, finishing with a flip off of a wall into a split. As Ezra sits silently in the splits position, basking in triumphant glory, he hears a sound coming from his pocket.
"Hello? Hello?"
Ezra takes out his cell phone. It's Abraham Lincoln.
Ezra's about the happiest-go-luckiest dude on the Earth. Whistling World Champion, Heel Click Olympian, and Freestyle Walking King are only a few of his accomplishments based on his exuberant demeanor. He can't help himself; he's just got the spirit. However like a lot of people, with the highs also come the lows. Ezra can really get down in the dumps at the drop of a hat.
The most consistent source of affliction to Ezra is his coworker Adam. Adam is one of those people that can't stand it when people whistle. They spend a lot of time together at Digiorno's Pizza, where they are co-managers. Adam the cynic hates Ezra and his boundless positivity, and a 40 hour a week job alongside the Whistling World Champion really brings out the nastiest parts of him. He screams and screams at Ezra to stop whistling, to stop being so damn happy and hits him upside the head until his mood plummets into the depths of dour depression. That version of Ezra bums Adam out too, but at least Ezra doesn't talk or make any sounds or movements when he's depressed.
Adam's the first name in Ezra's cell phone. They need to keep in touch with each other while out on deliveries. Since Adam's name is the first entry into Ezra's phone, when Ezra gets excited and does some energetic movements it results in a lot of unintended calls to Adam. Ezra will be in the middle of a long combo of freestyle walking moves when the joy is interrupted by Adam's voice shreiking out of his pocket.
"QUIT THAT FUCKING FAIRY DANCING YOU FUCKING IDIOT! HELLO? DO YOU HEAR ME? QUIT THAT FUCKING DANCING! FUCK YOU, YOU DIPSHIT FUCK!"
What a mellow harsh.
Ezra decides he needs to rectify this situation. If he's gonna dance, the phone is gonna call somebody. He needs a contact the comes alphabetically before Adam, and preferably a fictitious one. No one wants to repeatly call someone on accident. Ezra thinks for a little while and eventually types in Abraham Lincoln. 555-5555. Satisfied, Ezra goes out for walk, whistling at the top of his breath. The positive energy soon gives way to some choice heel clicks, which in turn morph into full blown freestyle walking. Ezra works up one of the best combos he's ever done, finishing with a flip off of a wall into a split. As Ezra sits silently in the splits position, basking in triumphant glory, he hears a sound coming from his pocket.
"Hello? Hello?"
Ezra takes out his cell phone. It's Abraham Lincoln.
posted by Jerkwater Johnson @ 12:48 PM
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